Conflict is part of working with people.
Whether it’s a difference in opinion, working style, or priorities, tension is bound to show up. But not all conflict is bad. When handled well, it can lead to better ideas, stronger relationships, and real progress.
The trouble starts when conflict is avoided or mishandled. That’s when it turns unproductive, causing frustration, miscommunication, and deeper issues that never really get resolved.
The good news? With the right mindset, tools, and behaviours, conflict can be turned into something genuinely useful.
Why Businesses Need Conflict
Conflict, when harnessed effectively, is a catalyst for innovation and progress. It encourages diverse viewpoints, fuels creative problem-solving, and pushes teams to explore all potential solutions. Without conflict, organisations risk stagnation, groupthink, and missed opportunities. By embracing conflict, businesses can unlock a wealth of ideas and drive continuous improvement.
The challenge lies in moving away from traditional conflict
resolution, which often focuses on simply restoring peace, and instead
developing the ability to manage productive conflict. That means addressing the
root causes, surfacing differences in a healthy way, and using tension to move
the team forward.
Behaviours Leading to Unproductive Conflict
Unproductive conflict often arises from specific behaviours that can derail team dynamics and hinder performance. These behaviours include:
- Avoidance: When team members avoid conflict altogether, problems fester and grow. Avoidance leads to unresolved issues and resentment.
- Aggression: Hostile and confrontational behaviour creates a toxic environment. It stifles open communication and drives people apart.
- Passive-Aggressiveness: This indirect form of conflict expression confuses and frustrates colleagues, leading to misunderstandings and prolonged tension.
- Defensiveness: Being overly defensive can shut down constructive criticism and feedback, preventing growth and improvement.
- Stonewalling: Refusing to communicate or engage in conversation can halt problem-solving and escalate tensions.
- Sarcasm: Using sarcasm as a form of criticism or mockery can undermine respect and trust within the team.
- Gossiping: Spreading rumours or speaking negatively about colleagues behind their backs damages relationships and team cohesion.
Understanding these behaviours is the first step in addressing unproductive conflict. But what drives these actions?
The Emotions Driving Unproductive Conflict
Behaviours that lead to unproductive conflict are often driven by underlying emotions and psychological factors. These include:
- Fear of Failure: Fear of being wrong or failing can make individuals defensive and aggressive, as they strive to protect their self-esteem.
- Insecurity: Insecure individuals may engage in passive-aggressive behaviours or gossiping to avoid scrutiny or responsibility.
- Stress and Pressure: High-stress environments can exacerbate negative behaviours, as individuals may lack the emotional bandwidth to engage constructively.
- Lack of Trust: When trust is low, team members are more likely to view conflict as a personal attack rather than a professional disagreement.
- Poor Communication Skills: Inability to express thoughts and feelings clearly can lead to misunderstandings and frustration.
Recognising these emotional drivers is crucial for addressing the root causes of unproductive conflict. With this understanding, we can move towards solutions that foster productive conflict.
Transforming Conflict with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Principles
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) offers a comprehensive approach to transforming conflict from a destructive force into a constructive tool. Here’s how it works:
- Self-Awareness: The first step is helping individuals understand their own conflict behaviours and the emotions driving them. Through assessments and reflections, individuals gain insight into their conflict styles.
- Reframing Thoughts: CBT techniques help individuals reframe negative thoughts associated with conflict. For example, instead of thinking, “If I disagree, they’ll think I’m incompetent,” one might reframe it to, “Disagreement can lead to a better solution and show my critical thinking skills.”
- Developing Constructive Behaviours: Practical strategies for developing constructive conflict behaviours include active listening, assertive communication, and empathy. For instance, active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what the other person is saying.
- Building a Supportive Culture: Creating an environment where constructive conflict is encouraged requires a cultural shift. Leaders play a key role in modelling positive conflict behaviours and fostering an atmosphere of trust and open communication.
By applying CBT principles, organisations can transform their approach to conflict, turning it into a powerful tool for problem-solving and innovation.
The Value of Embracing Productive Conflict
When conflict is managed through the lens of productivity, not just resolution, it can have a powerful impact on performance, trust, and culture. Rather than smoothing over tension, productive conflict addresses it directly, giving teams a chance to grow from disagreement, not shrink away from it.
It builds confidence in communication, surfaces issues before they escalate, and allows for more honest collaboration. Teams that can challenge ideas, question assumptions, and stay respectful throughout are the ones that work better together and achieve greater results.
Conflict isn’t something to avoid. It is a strength when it’s handled well.
When teams know how to have open, honest conversations (even the uncomfortable ones), they build more trust, make better decisions, and collaborate more effectively.
It’s not about getting rid of disagreement. It’s about learning to handle it in a way that actually moves things forward.
