Meet Jo Long
For those who know me now, you may find the following somewhat difficult to believe now, however, I struggled with self-confidence for a significant part of growing up.
As a child, my mum was a big fan of jumble sale clothes and hand-me-downs so I resembled others’ clothes choices more frequently than my style. Upon reaching Senior school a whole new wardrobe crisis began with a Green and Yellow Uniform, complimented by my teeth braces (they weren’t a fashion accessory then) acne and a haircut from my “self-taught” hairdressing mum. Yet the biggest knock to my confidence by far was an interaction with a boy at age 11/12 who told me in front of everyone at a school disco “You can’t kiss” – I wanted to curl up and die, this incident destroyed my self-confidence at a young age, however, I found ways to cope, using close friends discuss and gain reassurance from.
I could share numerous instances that happened in my childhood/teens that knocked me down, some were pretty traumatic – why am I sharing?
Resilience – We are not born with it as you know, as parents we don’t want to see our children suffer at all, but the old saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is underrated. Kids need to develop their resilience; in those lessons, there is always pain and uncomfortableness before strength and character. There are lots of things we can do ourselves to help others to build RESILIENCE.
Discuss the Importance of Adversity: Emphasise the role that adversity plays in fostering resilience. Sharing insights into how facing difficulties, setbacks, and failures ultimately contributed to your personal growth helps others recognise and develop.
Offer Practical Tips for Cultivating Resilience: Provide actionable advice for others who may be struggling with similar challenges. Share specific resilience-building strategies that have worked well for you, they may be, maintaining a positive mindset, developing coping skills, nurturing supportive relationships, and seeking professional help when needed.
Connect Resilience to Professional Success: In addition to sharing personal anecdotes, tie resilience to your professional journey and achievements. You might highlight how your ability to bounce back, adapt to change, and persevere through obstacles has been instrumental in your career. You could share specific examples of how resilience has helped you overcome professional challenges, seize opportunities, and achieve your goals.
Encourage Dialogue and Reflection: Encourage reflection by asking thought-provoking questions, such as “What challenges have you faced in your life, and how have they shaped your resilience?” or “What strategies could you use to bounce back from setbacks and remain resilient?”
Discuss changing perspectives: The ability to change how you perceive a situation or someone can be crucial in building resilience, as it shapes how individuals perceive and respond to challenges and setbacks.
I learned not to care quite as much, and when it hurt, to brush it off, dust myself down and smile at those who were being unkind. I was never the popular one out of my group of friends, and I now see that indeed was a blessing. Due to this, I spread my friendship groups far and wide as I grew up believing that “You are the average of those you spend your time with”. My confidence came from putting myself into challenging situations, outside of my comfort zone. I was a live-in nanny for four amazing children, I never trained to be a nanny but gave it a go. Applying for a role overseas of which I had no experience but liked the sound of, I attended the interview on crutches, just ten days after a total hip replacement, and got the position. I learned to speak up and out for myself and others, which meant I was being judged for my values, characteristics and behaviours, not for my image.
Answering a tiny advert in the Bristol Evening Post for a sales role with Lyreco was the making of me… I had left school just before I turned 16 with few qualifications, I had never been trained for sales but I was curious, I asked lots of questions and learned how not to take NO for an answer, what could go wrong? 24 years I stayed at Lyreco, initially as a salesperson for the early part. not always a smooth road, then had the best time recruiting, training, coaching, mentoring successful sales teams and regions, and helping others develop their resilience.
And now I, along with my partner, run a successful business, I have truly realised that my purpose in life now is simply to “help others”. Inside business or outside of work, I help out at my son’s rugby team, I’m a school governor, I’m a Mental Health First Aider, and I find myself searching daily to fulfil my needs to support someone new.
Self-reflection is a wonderful thing. Life itself has given me the confidence to laugh out loud, hence the cover photo and at myself most of the time. I appreciate that what I have is of my own doing, I accept that what others think of me is largely none of my business and whatever I do, do it with kindness… ❤️
Help others by discussing further “perspective” ideas and concepts;
Reframing Challenges:
Positive Reframing: If we can view challenges as opportunities for growth we are more likely to develop resilience. Viewing setbacks as temporary and solvable, helps us maintain a proactive and optimistic outlook.
Growth Mindset: Believing that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning, can help individuals persist in the face of difficulties.
Optimism and Hope:
Optimistic Perspective: An optimistic perspective encourages individuals to expect positive outcomes and believe in their capacity to overcome obstacles. This encourages perseverance and reduces the impact of stress.
Acceptance and Realism:
Acceptance: Recognising and accepting reality, even if it is harsh, allows individuals to focus on what they can control and to develop realistic strategies to cope with challenges.
Realistic Perspective: Balancing optimism with realism ensures that individuals remain hopeful but also pragmatic, preparing them to deal effectively with setbacks.
Self-Efficacy and Control:
Belief in Abilities: A perspective that emphasises self-efficacy, or the belief in one’s ability to influence events and outcomes, empowers individuals to take decisive actions during tough times.
Internal Locus of Control: People with an internal locus of control believe they can influence their circumstances, which enhances their resilience by encouraging proactive and confident problem-solving.
Meaning and Purpose:
Sense of Purpose: Viewing challenges through the lens of a larger purpose or meaning can provide motivation and a sense of direction, helping individuals stay resilient through difficult periods.
Values Alignment: When individuals’ perspectives are aligned with their core values, they are more likely to stay committed and resilient in pursuing their goals, even when facing obstacles.
Social Support:
Community and Relationships: A perspective that values and seeks social support strengthens resilience. Connecting with others provides emotional backing, practical assistance, and different viewpoints, which can help individuals navigate challenges more effectively.
Empathy and Compassion: Cultivating empathy and compassion towards oneself and others fosters a supportive environment, enhancing collective resilience.
Flexibility and Adaptability:
Adaptive Perspective: Being open to change and willing to adapt perspectives in response to new information and circumstances can help individuals remain resilient. Flexibility allows for creative problem-solving and the ability to bounce back from adversity.
